Monday, December 8, 2008

Workout with my German Trainer

(Not my actual weight..I only wish!)

I joined a brand new gym that opened up not far from my house, when I say not far I mean a bus ride and two tram stops and a 10 minutes walk away. I have to say I was really nervous, barely slept the night before. Sure I have belonged to Gyms before, yes its been awhile since I've workout, beyond taking Sophie for a walk but we are talking about a gym in German. When I signed up my nice tour guide said oh everyone knows "a little" English you will be fine!

After my brisk walk to the gym I walk in to find two very nice German girls working the front desk, and some great techno dance music in the background. I'm thinking ya I can do this ! Then they started talking to me....uh? What? Did my German version of do you speak English? Ya Kerstin with an e speaks "a little" ! Hooray we are in business!! Kerstin kindly issues my card, gives me my complementary T-shirt wants to know if I'm size M? I said better give me an L she gives me the once over and said maybe that will be a target to be a M! Ya! Ya! Skinny girl hand it over and lets move then she gives me my water bottle and instructs that is the only water bottle that can be used in Gym NO other....really! Okay I will mark it with a Big K and keep it safe. She also offers me today only free "weight loss water" all you can drink. I'm thinking bag the training, let me bellie up to the bar and down some of this! "Weight loss water" Germany has "weight loss water" the same country that made me fat with their bread, chocolate and beer has a "weight loss water" wow I'm never leaving!
Kerstin with an e takes me to the locker room and shows me how to use the lockers and said okay it is best if you bring your gym clothes not wear okay! Good ! And she leaves me there to I guess get acquainted with my locker and locker room. First road block couldn't find my way back out of the locker room, first door was the steam room, going for door number two it was the showers finally a nice girl said second door on right! Okay I'm on my way, here I come Yvonne.

Yvonne is my trainer she knows a very little bit of English but is armed with a cheat sheet ....with things like" nice to meet you" and every body part and goodbye, please and thank you.
She was really nice and tried really hard. I didn't want to correct her when she kept referring to my legs has feet. I knew what she meant was a game of charades I have been playing for five months. SO!(with a Z sound) she instructed me on a circuit, we did the circuit finishing up with the elliptical which she instructed me to do with "hardiness" I don't even know what that is or means! I think she meant vigorous because after a couple minutes she came over shook her head and bumped up the speed.
SO! we are done she says you can now go do group training ...? I'm thinking wow I've advanced ...I don't now if I'm ready to group train just after one session! No Group train is classes duh! Like yoga and body pump....oh today right now yes it will be good..Ya! No I think I'm done for today but what about the other circuit right there ? The one with inner/outer thigh machine etc.. the machines I really need! She said in month 6 you can do that circuit if really good and strong and how you say lose fat! So basically my inner/outer thighs are gonna have to wait six months to be work!
Okay bye bye have some more "weight loss water" !
So me and my "water" leave, walk the 10 minutes which now take 15 minutes to catch my tram and miss the bus so I start walking home past the store that sells my yummy chocolates, past the bakery with the fresh bread all the while my thighs are rubbing together. To bad they have to wait six months to get worked, in the mean time drink the "water"!


t.t. Millers said...

Kathy, that was a great description! I can picture myself right by your side! And I would have bought the chocolates on the way home! German chocolate is so much better than American chocolate. Americans really don't know what they are missing!!!

Ina J Offret said...

You made me laugh so hard this morning. And you need the Rosetta Stone CDs!!!! I give you so much credit for taking mass transit to a gym. What a funny set up they have. Could you send some "weight loss water" to me? :)

kLw said...

O, I can't wait to hear more! I'll have to teach you some German names for body parts!

Ben and Brittney said...

I need the weight loss water. Sounds like you are able to communicate a little.